The Doug Noll Show

Many of us have experienced a need for vengeance—to get back at the other guy. Sometimes it is a passing desire and sometimes it becomes an all consuming goal. What is vengeance, where does it come from, and what is its relationship to retribution, justice and forgiveness. I will be talking about these common experiences in this show and invite you to email me at info@lawyertopeacemaker.com with your comments and questions. We start by looking at vengeance in literature, particularly as described by Alexander Dumas’ in his famous novel The Count of Monte Cristo. Vengeance arises from a sense of lost honor identity that has been severely attacked. Vengeance is a powerful emotion that cannot be assauged with persuasion or logic.

Vengeance is often wrapped around identity. Identity is at a primal level a right to claim group resources. When identity is threatened by violence or some other act, deep resentment can arise.

Recall how Ahab, the captain of the whaling ship Pequod, is driven to madness in his desire for revenge against the great white whale Moby Dick. In the end, his desire for vengeance destroys him, his ship,and all of the crew except for Ishmael. The key to dealing with this deep vengeance is through empathy. Empathy has its roots in mirror neurons. There are many levels of empathy and the greatest gift is to be able to create an empathic space for a person with deep resentment.

Forgiveness is a process not an event. The transformation from rage, anger, and the desire for vengeance through the process of forgiveness can be profound as witnessed by the story I tell.