The Doug Noll Show

Fear is the basis of much conflict. People reacting unconsciously out of fear engage in attitudes and behaviors that sabotage their own lives and their ability to find inner peace. Much of my work as a peacemaker is helping people deal with their fears and helping them de-escalate. Fundamentally, however, if we are seeking a peaceful planet for our ourselves and our children, we must learn to be aware of and deal with our inner fears in a gentle, graceful manner. My guest, Guy Finley, is a spiritual teacher who has profound wisdom about fear and letting go of it. Guy has a pretty interesting background. He grew up in west LA in the entertainment business. His early career was in music, and he became the first white soft rock artist signed to the Motown Records label. While never achieving commercial success as a recording artist, several of his songs were recorded by popular artists including Diana Ross, the Jackson 5, and Debbie Boone in the 1970s. From an early age, however, Guy had a sense that there was something more to life than music, entertainment and parties. In 1989, he chucked it all and began a journey to learn more about consciousness and spirituality. Today, Guy writes about and teaches the things he has learned along the way.

Doug asks Guy about fear because much of human conflict and misery is grounded there. Guy distinguishes between instintive fear and psychological fear. Psychological fear is a by-product of a hegative imagination. Guy talks about how our minds are kept in a sleeping, divided state and how our consciousness is kept captive by fear.

Doug and Guy continue to talk about the causes of psychological fear. Guy says that our self-worth or value is based falsely on how others perceive us. Our “I” becomes tied to externalities, which is a shaky foundation to base a life upon. The reason that we focus so much outside of ourselves is because we do not realize who we really are. Consequently, we fall into the myth of believing that the acquisition of power and possessions will eliminate fear. When an event occurs that triggers a fear reaction, typically we are resisting something. As we resist what ever it is that causes fear, there is a form of contraction from the true self. As we pull away from our true self, Guy tells us that we become less aware of who we really are. The result is unconsciousness and unnecessary misery.

Doug asks Guy what can be done to stop the fear reaction and remain conscious. Guy says to use the moment of contraction to make a choice. Guy's formula is to stop, drop and endure. When we first feel fear, or resistance, or contraction, we should stop what we are doing. Try to become aware of how we are feeling in the moment and just become conscious of it. Second, we should drop our tendency to blame for externalize what is going on, and simply accept that we are experiencing this in the moment. Finally, learn to endure even the bad stuff. Guy gives the example of a car cutting us off in traffic. Typically, the event would cause annoyance or fear. So we become aware that we are annoyed or frightened or anxious or angry. We drop the blame on the driver in front of us or the traffic situation and just except that something happened. Recognizing in the moment that this is the way life is and cannot be changed. We then endure the situation for as long as it might last and stay conscious of our own reaction to it. Guy tells us that this is the simple and effective process for fearless living.